"Where am I? What is this..." you ask? Well, you are looking at an old collection of my writings and art, newspaper clippings, "fun" facts and photos, mostly from the early 2000s. Feel free to browse around, or better yet read and contemplate and then tell me what you think.

The Webmistress
May 2011

"Do not react based on the reptilian brain, in fear and insecurity."
A.M. Bosman

* * * * * * * * * * *


The Old Intro

Hello, hello, new and old readers! You are all in luck, I am updating this site finally after another [very] long hiatus. I can't promise that it will be a regular thing though. I do hope to do something nicer with the color scheme and document more sources.

Now, my dear old readers, you may be pleasantly surprised that this website was written up in some rag (about time, right?), but I was never consulted about it, so I won't bother mentioning the name.

As for you, new readers, if you are here to hold the hot dog, choke the chicken, flog the dolphin - however you want to say it - you won't find much here to do the job, unless sardonic wit is what gets you off.

The Webmistress
July 2007
* * * * * * * * * * *


The Really Old Intro

Dear Reader,

Doesn't it suck when you come upon a website you really like and then the person doesn't update it - ever? Sadly, this has been such a website for far too long (see the blurb below about my last update).

Recently, some websites have linked to this fine site here because, apparently, there is a shortage of online resources about men with two penises. I kid you not.

1 in every 5.5 million males is born with more than one penis.

One of them, an unlucky man India, made the news in August 2006 because he wanted doctors to lob it off.

Anyway, I am looking forward to resuming work on this website. Aparently I have numerous fans..? Brigid writes:

"no, it's not porn. Really. But it is a compendium of information about abortions via the mouth, animals tried for their crimes (usually dressed up as humans, first), crocodile penises, cannibalism, how much pus is found in the average glass of milk, and other horrificly awesome things."

Thanks Brigid. In the words of another:

"Who knew that assfullofcum.com was such a great reference resource?"

And at this moment (4:30 am), I can't write a better description, so just go to some of the links on the right to read all that fun, fun stuff.

Thanks for reading.

The Webmistress
December 2006

"This work is utterly incomprehensible, even to me. Its singular profundity continually astonishes me... Was I perhaps trying to create humour? That would not surprise me and would be rather my style. All the same I shall have no sympathy for people who make light of it. They stand warned."
Erik Satie

* * * * * * * * * * *


We haven't been introduced. Join the Ass Full of Cum list.

Croc Cock - The Phallus of a Crocodile

Rare Reptile








"Sperm is ... the end-product of all digestions."
Tissot








But what if you ingest sperm? According to an urban myth, a "serving" of semen has six calories. Not true! A single "serving" has 100 calories, from fat. So if you swallow, you get 11 grams of fat, that's about 17% of the average recommended daily fat dose. 7 of those are saturated fat grams and that's 35% of your recommended daily saturated fat dose.








Panspermia -
The theory that life exists and is distributed throughout the universe in the form of germs or spores.








Wanna see some boobies?








STOP!

Are you a man who enjoys rollerblading or wrestling?
No? Just a good old fashioned spandex freak then?








The common methods for trepanation are scraping; grooving; boring-and-cutting and rectangular intersecting incisions.

On July 17th, 1917 the British royal family changed its name from the German Saxe-Coburg Gotha to Windsor. (GB was at war with Germany.)








See more words, quotes, and facts.









"We love 'Ass Full of Cum'!"

Looking for intelligent signs of life...































































Original writings, images, designs and concepts Copyright (c) 2003-2015 by assfullofcum.com.
Use of such materials is a violation of copyrights, trademarks and other propriety rights and is prohibited.
Do it and I'll have my dog bite off your most sensitive parts!