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My Ass!
Hello. This section of Ass Full of Cum is for dispelling certain myths. Originally, I was going to write about some fake Lincoln quotes, but there is a more pressing matter at hand. Testes. Yes, balls, nuts, huevos. Last fall (in 2002), I put out my last zine, a free little thing, which among other things contained some information about the origin of the word testicle. It seems I should have printed more copies. Quite by accident, I came across a FALSE etymology for the word testes (or testis in the singular). Because of its propensity to offend and astound (or whatever), this false etymology has grown legs and run amok all over the Internet. Sad sad sad because it makes strange etymologies that are actually true seem less credible. Or maybe not - who cares about stuff like this other than language-nerds like me..? Anyway, according to the false etymology in question, "testify" and "testament" are derived from a supposed ancient (Roman or biblical) practice of a man taking an oath by placing his hand on his balls. This is not so. The word "testify" doesn't come from "testis" but vice versa. The Indo-European root for testicle and testament is "tris," which means "three," the number of people who had to be present for an ancient contractual agreement (the person to whom the oath was made, the person taking the oath, and a third person who witnessed the agreement).
"Testicle" derives from the diminutive form of the word for witness, "testis."
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